Thursday, October 06, 2005

Currently Listening Twin Cinema By The New Pornographers see related Yes, I'm alive. I think that title about says it all. Out of the close to three years that I've kept up with this writing log, this has been by far and large the longest drought between posts. And even longer for meaningful posts. So for anyone who has stuck it out wondering, when is this guy going to ever update(!), here's what's up: I had no idea how intense trying to get a credential and a masters at the same time would entail; Nor did any of my cohort. All of us have had at least one breakdown/meltdown, some have actually lost it and cried in class, and some have flat out dropped out of the masters program. I think that I'm a bit lucky in that, unlike most others, I haven't done much teaching and so my openness to their "radical" and post-modernistic perspective and training of how teaching should be done has left me far from the brinks of insanity. Many others come from firm and solid perspectives towards teaching that when we're introduced to radical perspectives of Doll, Freire, Bruner, Whitehead, and other of the like, they have a hard time opening up to consider educational implications of these authors. Long story short, I had a breakdown a couple weeks ago, realizing that I was trying too hard to get close to staying levelheaded with each instructor's assignments. I was being rude to everybody (well my version of rudeness) and just flat out not happy. Just think to Glen Phillips' song, "It Takes Time" (water's getting deeper/and i can't feel my feet/i keep on bailing buckets/but it flows back to me.../How am I gonna make time?/Oh this is going to take time) So when someone in our orientation meeting broke down and cried pleading to our supervisors that there are too many demands from each particular in this program, I realized I needed to take a step back. I need time for myself. I can't let this program take away... me. Ever since, I've decided to do what I can with my time, but allow myself some me time to keep sane. Still doesn't explain why I haven't blogged lately has it. Between these classes i neglected to mention that I'm student teaching first graders! It's a nutty experience I'm in right now. Quick story: I've got two CT's (coordinating/master teachers) who share a contract and teach every other day. One is on maternity leave, was supposed to come back in October, now will be in November because she realized she needed more time. The CT I am working with is pregnant, was to leave mid October, but left about a week ago, 2 weeks early. In place of the two, I'm now working with a CT who's long-term subbing BUT is a 2nd year student in the program I'm currently in! It works, we can relate to each other, but we're basically both learning. I'm not sure if it's the best of experience, but it does give me more free reign in the classroom to work with students. I still don't think i quite explained why i haven't blooged. oops. blogged. during the week i've got 6am-1/2am days. I don't see home often. I guess I'm too tired to put thoughts down on paper anymore. But I'll try to keep posted. Promise. I can't let this blog site down. Fun stuff: Nickel Creek tickets for bay area folks go on sale/pre-sale on Friday! Speaking of Nickel Creek, they're on the video portion of Fiona Apple's new dualdisc album! if you bought it, look for Chris's mad performance in "fast as you can", one of the singles from Fiona's last album. good albums to listen to: sheryl crow's "wildflower", ryan adams' "jacksonville city", the new pornographers' "twin cinema" (I LOVE THIS ALBUM) tv shows i've caught bits and pieces of: my name is earl, kitchen confidential, new season of Curb your Enthusiasm Serenity, anyone? I caught this one and am now backtracking by borrowing Firefly, which one day I'll watch - The film was fun and light-hearted. Heather, you can fill me in (and tell me how you're doing!) I finally learned of the two-buck chuck. i think that's all i need to say ok time for bed.